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After death care, in your own way
When someone takes their last breath, our advice is
PAUSE
TAKE YOUR TIME
THERE IS NO RUSH
Take time to
... brush their hair for the last time
... hold their hand for the last time
... sing to them for the last time
You will never get this time again. Keeping someone close after their last breath can feel daunting because of shock or your emotional state. It can also be incredibly meaningful and beneficial given time.
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How can we assist you ?
We can assist you to keep someone close after their last breath, until you are ready to hand them over. We can assist you to find opportunities for meaningful connection while awaiting their burial or cremation which can sustain you in your grief. We can give you advice on how to arrange things yourself and provide practical help too if needed.
This could involve taking someone home from hospital, caring for their body, discerning meaningful and comforting activity in the days before their burial or cremation or taking them to their final resting place.
We can assist families of people who choose to rest at home after their last breath, often also choosing a "low-fuss" departure.
You can decide what you want to do yourselves and what help, if any, you want from us or a funeral director.
Being at Home
The positive benefits of being with someone who has taken their last breath for a few days in the familiarity of home can be immeasurable. When someone takes their last breath outside the home, eg in hospital, hospice or a care home, it is also worth thinking about the benefits of taking them home or to a familiar or private place – for a few days or until their burial or cremation.
By simply sitting in privacy and comfort, perhaps with music or candles, you can gently begin to appreciate that their life, your life and your relationship has changed forever. Gathering with others or inviting visitors offers the opportunity for story-telling, sharing thoughts, laughter and tears: all important elements in the grieving process.
Planning Ahead
Most people think of planning ahead as planning for their funeral. Whilst this can be important, we suggest that preparing fully involves much more than this. The result of the after death preparation we suggest is to write a letter, which covers the whole of the postmortem gap from your last breath until your burial or cremation - and funeral, if you choose one.
Preparing and writing the letter can be helpful in establishing what is important to you, gives you the possibility to prepare those who are going to be affected by your death, and also gives great opportunities for conversations with them.